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    Section 1 - personal details

    SECTION 2 - SECURITY QUESTIONNAIRE

    section 3 - how dirty are you?

    section 4 - really important questions

    Would you like to see it?
    YES
    ​NO

    section 5 - statement of interest

    ​In the unlikely event that there is a draw the statement of interest will be considered. In no more than 5,000 words explain why you want to join the Dirty Dozen and what skills and strengths you can bring to the organisation. You may wish to include the following; “give away my own money”, “butt chafe”, Royston and (not and) crimpled.

    section 6 - solemn declaration

    I, the undersigned, hereby vow to give my life over to The Dirty Dozen. I will serve and honor them as I would my own Kin. I will (make) love and cherish each and every member and their member. I will not marry outside of the bloodline (unless I have webbed feet) and promise to observe the holy day of Grizzle in which “tears shall flow for 1,000 years”.

    I give myself wholly, living the way the grand Grizzler* lived; obediently, communally, chastely, and with great inward and outward simplicity. I am also willing to be set on fire in case the others get a bit cold.
    As a Dirty Dozen member, I will follow the orders from a superior, our obedience is a quality of soul which makes us willing to put our own desires aside even to the point of preferring another's wishes – even if they are a bit mucky.

    I will resist all temptation to escape the truth about myself (especially that thing I did last Thursday), and entrust myself and all that I own to the Grizzlers mercy, Percy and a man named Hershey.
    ​
    To possess nothing of my own and to hold everything in common with my brothers or sisters is one of the means by which Dirty Dozen members seek to free themselves from the self-centeredness that separates us from others. Others means include, going to the pub, visiting Crisp Mountain™, shouting “oi” at peasants and balancing on one leg.
    ​
    Celibacy gives the ability to make the new Dirty Dozen members free, to liberate the love of our hearts for service to the Dirty Dozen. This radical discipline is not practiced by all members and can, on occasion be completely avoided if you have a note.
    *The Grizzler is an elected member of the MillCorp Corporation, elected by MillCorp officials in an unbiased one man lottery
    The outcome of the selection process will be communicated on the penultimate night of the tour in the year of our Lord 2025.
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